The Memory Symphony

I remember
the prognosis I got
flipping through the pages of
internal medicine
that I prayed for a miracle
that didn't happened

I remember
you asked me to go
to the place that I have wished to go so much
even though I thought
it was impossible

I remember
when wearing my handwrap
receiving a call I dreaded most
travelling 90 miles
flying 1000 miles
to hear you calling my name the last time

I remember
they said you can't hear
but I was positive you could
because
I felt your inner struggle
and I saw the tearing at
the corner of your eyes

I remember
how your pulsating carotid artery
came to an abrupt stop
how the sustaining machine
still operate despite
you have already departed

I remember
no matter how frustrated
letting go was hard and
I believe I was in
denial

I remember
how the hot tears flowed
one night
startled from midnight's dream
you told me
your thrombocytes had increased

I remember
back
how the fingers started to point to you
accusing you for everything
when you haven't accept your loss
and people have started talking about you

I remember
how the behaviour of others
changed
and you knew
you didn't need to explain nor care
and you started thinking
I don't effing give a damn,
anymore

I remember

you're too tired to rant

people just assume what they hear

is the truth

I remember
every single darn words
you have thrown on me
I never accept your presents
coz that's your suffering
so I kept my vocabs
safe inside
coz I don't wanna
be the second fool

I guess
I don't really need to bother anymore
coz you will be
watching from above
and you know
I would
be oblivious to rumours
and
I will keep on going
my own way

asi es la vida