"I'm depressed, are you scared?"

Disclaimer: Some contents may have been changed to protect the person's identity. 

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After a few long months away from your homeland, your heart gets so tired it tells you that "it's time to go back. You've been out there for too long".

Literally. Carrying backpack and a hand luggage strapped on my shoulder, I retrieved my luggage from the conveyor belt. Wasting no time I headed straight to the train for a transit to another airport for a bus ride. Just as I reached, I heaved a big sigh from all the weight that I bore. Nothing can still compare with the heaviness of my heart. I have missed home.

Just as I waited for my bus to arrive, I approached a girl near me just to confirm I was at the right gate for the bus. "Excuse me, may I ask if this bus is going to XX station?"

She wore a white long-sleeved top, had a luggage in her hand and wore a cap. Her hair was short, and I thought she was one of the most outgoing girl out there.

"Yes, it is! I'm going there too". She gave a friendly reply.

I got up the bus and had chosen a seat near the huge window. I have always loved to sit by the window so that I could look outside for the beautiful scenery. As I settled for a seat near the window, the same girl approached me and asked me if anyone is sitting next to me. I shook my head and told her she could have that seat.

She sat down, heavily. Slumped down on her back she started to stick her nose to her handphone, like any typical people in their teens, tweens or even elderlies. Her phone screen illuminated her face in the semi-dim bus. I looked outside the window for the beautiful view. The sun was about to set, the whole sky was a lovely velvety faint bright pink and purple hue like smudges of watercolour on a canvas. The silhouettes of the palm oil trees accentuated from the sun setting behind. My country is indeed a beautiful place.

In the midst of the bus trip, the bus rocked the passengers to sleep during the journey, as if the roaring of the bus has turned into a sleeping lullaby. Except me and this girl. Somehow, someway, a conversation just striked up within us.

"What's your name? You can call me XX!"

We exchanged conversation, asking where we were from, and why were we on this bus trip. Random questions were posed.

"Are you a Taurus? Or if not, you might be a Capricorn!" she asked.

I looked at her skeptically. "Whyy do you think so?"

"I don't know. It's an aura". she said. "I always read about horoscope and I know it quite well"

I don't know there's such aura for horoscopes. And my understanding for horoscope is just superficial. Then she started talking about her own sign, Aquarius. And the conversation gradually drifted to her personal life. She said her parents had once looked out for her because she was not reachable by phone. She was also nowhere to be found where she was suppose to be at her hostel. The conversation got even more personal and she stopped and looked at me:

"You might see that I'm pretty normal, like right now, talking to you. But I'm really quite different when I'm alone.."

Certainly not a sign of an aquarius, I thought.

She revealed that she sometimes do self-harming. After that, I got to know that she was on medication to control her condition.

"I thought of very weird ideas, sometimes I even get very dark thoughts.." she continued.

"I'm depressed, are you scared? I don't tell this to anyone".

"No. Not at all" I answered.

"People will tend to avoid people who are weird"..

I knew she needed a room for ranting, or someone who could listen to her. Perhaps any stranger could be the best person to talk to. She wasn't the first depressed person I have met, and I certainly don't see her like any abnormal person. I just see her as a normal person who needed someone to listen and accept her.

We bided our goodbyes and that's where I had to go. My family was waiting for me.

"Wait, may I have your number?" I gave her mine, and we said we should keep in touch.

Little did I know that it was the first and last time we were going to meet. I haven't heard from her since. Had I given her the wrong number by mistake? Or had she mistaken my number? Or had she forgotten to add the country code?

People might appear so normal on the surface, but have you ever wonder what they are going through in their lives? Stop prejudice, stop bullying, stop the discrimination, stop the damn judgement about people. But indeed there are many sickening things in this society that we can't possibly control.

How about this, take some time to understand how truly blessed you are now. When you can do something good to people, why not just do it? You can definitely change another person's life.

Doing no harm is already an act of kindness. When you have nothing nice to say, sometimes the best way is just to shut up. I hope I could do something to help her but it seems I wasn't fated enough to meet her again. If you ever suspect anyone, be it your family, neighbour or your friends going through some tough times, don't ever just assume they are doing fine.

Depression is silent and not a joke. If you ever think you care for the people around you, just show it before it's too late. 

Staying positive and thinking perhaps one day, we could meet again. It's still a little friendship that I cherished, with a duration that lasted a bus journey ride.